


Frankie the Defense Roomba Origin Story

by Lucyfers_demons



Series: Frankie Cinematic Universe [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AO3 doesn’t have blocking available, Frankie is my child in the divorce, Frankie the Roomba origin story, Gen, This fic didn’t age well, doctor who - Freeform, im gay, so theres that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 18:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18579748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucyfers_demons/pseuds/Lucyfers_demons
Summary: My ex co-wrote this and I don’t know how to get her the fuck off of it.





	Frankie the Defense Roomba Origin Story

**Author's Note:**

> This fic didn’t age well and I’m too stubborn to delete it because I still like the parts that I wrote so here we go.

A slight whirring noise, aside from the assorted noises of the TARDIS, greeted Yaz one morning as she stumbled behind the doctor, nursing her cup.  
Ryan was nursing his own cup on the purple sofa they had gifted her that sat to one side of the console room. His feet were up on the teal footstool, while graham was seated on the orange armchair, his cup long since drained, reading a paper from god-knows-when.  
Business as usual.  
The whirring halted for a moment, then continued.  
Yaz looked to the doctor, who was rifling through some sort of compartment in the console. Didn’t look like she was making any repairs though.  
The whirring slowly faded, and Yaz promptly forgot about it.

The next day, they were all piling into the TARDIS from an adventure involving beach with green sand, a sacred diadem, and llama looking things.  
Yaz was about to lay on the cool console floor because the couch was too damn far when the whirring appears again. She whips her head around and spots the perpetrator.  
“You’ve got a Roomba?”  
Yaz looks down at the whirring machine, happily sweeping up the green sand they were shedding, a menacing knife haphazardly duct taped to the top of it. It heads towards Ryan, who exhaustedly jumps out of the way of the war path of the device’s reach.  
The Doctor bounds over, still full of energy by some force of nature, carrying a glass baking dish filled with an assortment of knives. There was a classic butter knife, a soft cheese knife, hard cheese knife, a switchblade, a kitchen knife, a meat cleaver, a few knives that looked like they were from other planets (are those scales??), and no less than five rolls of multi-colored duct tape.  
“It was a gift from one of my students” the Doctor replies, looking seriously at the knives, weighing her options, as well as possible placement of the knives. She seemed to be trying to match duct tape patterns to knives, but that sparkly orange pattern did not go with the scaly knife is she blind?  
Yaz ends up looking more confused as the Roomba’s deadpan googly eyes stare into her soul, despite the fact that they were looking in opposite directions.  
“Why’s it got googly eyes?” she asks.  
“It an internet meme Yaz” Ryan says, dodging the Roomba again.  
“Why’s it got a knife taped to it?” Graham asks, looking concerned as the knife-wielding Roomba somehow looks angrily at Ryan, like a Chihuahua squaring up to a bigger dog.  
“In case of intruders,” the Doctor says picking up the death Roomba and placing them on the other side of the TARDIS console, away from the group. The Roomba happily cleans in the opposite direction of Ryan as the Doctor turns her attention back to her friends, “I don’t have K-9, so I’ve got Frankie on defense. How’s it lookin’ Frankie?”  
The Doctor turns back to Frankie to find them stuck on the stairs pitifully beeping as their knife begins to slash through the air as they try to get unstuck.  
“Nonono Frankie baby no,” the Doctor says worriedly, running over to help the Roomba. The fam chuckles at the sight of the Doctor trying not to get slashed by her creation.  
And with that, they trundled off to bed, exhausted from their adventure, the sound of Frankie whirring and bumping into walls their lullaby. 

 

The IRL story behind Frankie the Roomba is actually based off of a conversation that I had with my girlfriend (who has an account on here and writes amazing fics) but it was when we first started dating it was around the time that 13’s first season was airing and what we talked a lot about. It was after work and I gave her my Tumblr username and we started following each other. We were talking and we had the headcanon that the Doctor has a Roomba that she taped a knife as like a “defense system”. My girlfriend immediately begins drawing this concept while I finish something up at work and I get a notification on my phone from Tumblr that I was tagged in something and I recognized my girlfriend’s URL so I opened it and saw that she drew Frankie the Roomba with the caption “this is your fault babe”, and I remember being in the lobby of my work trying not to squeal because (I’m a gay disaster leave me alone) it was the first time she ever called me babe. And I made the colored version my icon on discord and A03 and I haven’t changed it since because it reminds me of the first time my girlfriend called me babe. So I like adding him into fics because I didn’t really ever planned on writing fics until I met my girlfriend and I read her stuff and it made me want to write because she just inspires me overall. So that’s the origins of Frankie the Roomba I hope you guys liked it.


End file.
